No expectations or reservations

I come across a wide variety of problems and issues people face, makes me wonder time and again is it really possible to live a life without any expectations or reservations?

What is it that we expect from people? Family, friends, neighbors, colleagues -Every person we encounter daily is but human and right in their own way.Why do we want them to fit perfectly into our definitions of right and wrong?

Why can’t we appreciate what we have in life and move on accepting people for what they are, how they are, and lead our lives in a sane manner? Why should it be so hard to accept someone for what they are? Why do we want them to do what we want them to do?

Who are we to judge people? Why do we think that our way is the right way to do things? Why can’t we place ourselves in their shoes and think why they are the way they are? May be there is a very strong reason for their behavior.

Why do we crave for universal acceptance? You think you are a great human doing everything right in life. Who defined what is right and wrong? It is people like us. I wonder what the context was when they defined the rules of society, and responsibilities of each role.

Why should it bother you if the definition of righteousness is not the same as the other person’s and they do not approve what you say or do and do not like you for what you are?

You do not like them for something. Don’t you think they don’t like you for their own reasons? What if they do not follow the widely acclaimed path? What if they want to live life their own way?

Why should I get affected so much when you do not like me, talk to me, comment my behavior which I think is nothing but perfect. What is in your mind? Do you understand me the way you are supposed to?

How much do you know about me? Do you even understand me the way I want you to? Did I ever give you the rules and definitions book which says all this? May be we should talk. May be I should ask you, why you do the things you do to me, that irritate me so much.

I don’t want to hate you. I don’t want to dislike you. I do judge you though based on your actions. Everything about them says that you are wrong. You are not being meaningful. You are not being good to me. I am sympathized for what I am going through.

But I want to know what you are going through. What is it that makes you behave this way to me? What is going on between us? Don’t you think we should talk? Please give me a chance to accept you unconditionally. Aren’t relationships all about compromise? Let’s talk. Let’s come to an understanding to resolve this crisis situation.

Do I even fit your requirement? What is it that I am doing wrong? Talk to me! Let’s both take a few steps forward to patch the distance between us.

I want to accept you for what you are without any expectations or reservations. I know it is very difficult but I want to try. I might be successful a little bit. It doesn’t matter. I will slowly and steadily master this art of accepting to make my life more peaceful.

PS: I started with something in mind, got carried away and ended up with something different :) Ramblings of a confused mind - I guess...

Love is in the air

Coming soon!

The Jane Austen’s Book Club

I saw a movie “The Jane Austen's Book club” today. I really liked it. More than the movie story, I liked the concept of the book club, all of them reading the same book by Jane Austen and discussing their opinions, questions, views on the characters and arguing/debating was interesting.

I wish I were in a book club. I have never been in one before. I don’t remember knowing first hand any book club. I never did group study either. Hence don’t know much about reading groups. I never worked with another team member till recently at work. So not sure how good I am in a team.

Since I hardly read anything before, it is very hard to find some one for my book club. Meaning what ever I plan to read now might have been already read by any person I would like to invite to join my club.

I am pretty sure there will be tons of book clubs online but not interested in joining anything online now. I did discuss the very few books I read with like minded people. But those were quite high level discussion nothing in detail about author’s writing style or how I perceive the characters things like that.

One way is I can get a book, read it, find out from one of my friend’s if they read it already (I am pretty sure at least 3 or 4 very close friends of mine would have read the books I am interested in more than once) and discuss with them. None of these friends live close by (some live in different continents) so it should be one of chat, email, or phone conversation.

Will it be the same as talking to them in person? I don’t think so. It would be good if we can meet once a week in one of those ancient coffeehouses and discuss the book. Wishful thinking! Wait, I have a blogger friend who might be interested. Let me call her and see if she is interested J

I did not read any of Jane Austen's books. I read Pride and Prejudice – in school. Saw the movie. But based on my one experience – I read Da Vinci Code first and then saw the movie; I know that watching a movie is not the same as reading the book.

So I decided to get all the 6 novels by Jane Austen and read them. I also ordered the movies based on these novels on Netflix. I just love movies and Theater, just can’t resist. Actually I might come up with an article on movies based on novels after this experiment!

I am really excited about this adventure of mine. One of my college friends recently said that if I made up my mind about some thing I accomplish it. I want to see if it is true or if I still have it with this new exciting book reading adventure.

If any of you are interested in joining my book club contact me. We will see if we are compatible to proceed:-)

Tell me why?

My son is a question bank. He has these millions of questions brewing in his head and of course he asks me all of them and I have to answer. He does not take a ‘No’ for an answer. He thinks I am a knowledgeable super mom. From the past 4 years I tried to live up to his expectations.

Here are some of the funny things he asked and I managed to answer:

Animal School

Why does whale burp so loudly and then say pardon me in the slippery fish song?

Because burping loudly is bad manners.

Why does whale have bad manners?

Because it did not go to school and nobody taught him good manners.

Why dinn't the whale go to school?

Because it is not human and only humans go to school like you do.

For that my husband comes saying, animals go to school. Nemo (The clown fish from the movie “Finding Nemo” went to school ;-)

Grrrrrrrrr! I am bugged up with my son’s questions already and trying my best to answer them in a sane manner. And this guy makes my life difficult.

Why Dad?

Dad why are we not going on the bridge?

Because the bridge is not coming to us

My husband answers in such a way that my son never has a counter question. Poor me I create inquisitiveness in him and try to increase his knowledgebase!

Cow Boy

I showed him a man wearing a cowboy hat and here is our conversation:

Hey, look at that man. He is wearing a cowboy hat.

Yes, he is. Is he searching for his horse?

(Smiling) yes he is.

But where can he find a horse on the road?

OK! He is not searching for a horse. He is just walking

He is not wearing the right shoes.

What do you mean?

Cowboys don’t wear that kind of shoes. And he is wearing shorts. Ask him to wear the right jeans and shoes mommy.

Yeah right! I will go now and tell him, you are entitled to wear that hat only if you wear the whole package :-)

You are not turning the car to go tell him mommy :-)

Next day he sees a man in a convertible car wearing a cow boy hat..

Why is the man in the convertible car wearing a cow boy hat?

Because he thought the car was a horse;-) (I tried a smart answer this time and he didn't get the joke :-(

Am I newer?

He called me by my name. To that I told him he cannot call me by my name.

Son: Why should I not call you by name?

Me: Because I am older than you are.

Son: Am I newer than you?

Adolescent psychology

Coming soon!