Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I was watching a movie and the title of this blog is from the lyrics of a song from that movie. Tears dropped from my eyes as I heard the song. Especially this line was very touching. Well, normally I would have appreciated the lyrics but since I am going through some ups and downs it felt miserable.

This was a few months ago. The moment I finished the movie I opened a word doc and gave it the title. Had I written this blog at that point of time it would have been a real tear jerker! Some thing came up and I did not get a chance to write it. I started thinking, will I be able to write it to the same extent after the moment has passed. I don’t think so.

Why is it that when we are happy we do not recall how bad our past was? And when we are sad all the past memories become fresh. It seems like I have been sad for long enough to remember the last best thing that happened in my life. And now I don’t even know if I am sad or happy. I guess the worst part of the day is when I am all by myself.

I tried doing some new things to keep myself busy but at least for a few minutes I try to think what I am doing with my life and it all comes back. Actually my life is not that bad. I had worst moments before and to my surprise I handled them well. But when ever some thing new comes up, it feel so hard, everything comes to a stand still, and questions my ability to handle the situation.

Can I handle the seasons of my life? I am good at handling the good ones like accomplishments (obviously). I am slowly mastering the bad ones but every other hit seems like a bigger one. I know there is much more to face in life and this is just the beginning. Some thing which has not happened yet should not hurt you but the thought that my today’s decisions are going to shape up my future is scary.