Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I am reading the book “Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mom”. My idea is to make my mom read this book and then write an article on how she raised us. According to me we grew up fine just not super accomplished but again that is relative. I am happy and surprised at how well she raised us both. It seemed completely effortless and smooth parenting.

I just finished the chapter “Teeth Marks and Bubbles” from the book. It brought tears into my eyes. I took after both my mom & dad. My dad was super strict. Both of them used to teach private tuitions. I never saw my mom yelling at any kid. My dad on the other side used to think that if I teach you a concept you better get it. If not a) you were not listening which makes you totally unworthy to be his student b) you are not intelligent which is even worse because you are not worthy to study math at all. Umm, I did not like his concept. I used to think he was too harsh.

But call it genes or whatever, I teach my son both like my mom and dad. I yell at him during piano practices but not as much. I never make him feel unworthy of anything but then I yell and shout at him when he just gives up without even trying or lowballs himself that he just can’t do it. Somehow I hold him at a very high position. He is a very smart kid. His dad, me and my bro he is supposed to be smart J

I am not bragging but what I mean to say is that he has what it takes to shine in him. And he proved it several times. I was awestruck and inspired at his intelligence. So it really tears me apart when he says he can’t do something.

I performed on stage several times when I was growing up. I come out as a very confident person. In fact I am. I am not scared to raise my voice and express my opinion. I am not scared to be the leader and bring a change in the system. I can preach/counsel/convince people around me and bring a change into their lives.
People who know me will be surprised if I tell them that I get very nervous when I go up on stage. I shake and shiver. I do complete the whole performance and come down but I hate that part about me.

My son is a lot like me when it comes to confidence. In the sense he does not hesitate to say what he thinks. He is the first one to raise his hand in the class room for anything and everything. He is not scared to be a leader, to suggest things etc… He participates in some of our language enrichment cultural activities on our Indian/Telugu New Year. He is very much into all the cultural things. He loves knowing and learning all about our culture and language.

He knows lot of Sanskrit slokas by heart now and can recite them with great diction. He does not have an accent when is saying those though he does not know the language very well. I make sure to explain him the meaning of each and every word and the overall concept of the poems I teach him.

So he recites them on stage in a competition within his age group in our cultural festivals. I teach him while making him sleep; feeding him breakfast etc… he learns them pretty quickly. I don’t have to tell him to practice; he just keeps chanting them whatever he does till he gets them right J I love that about him.

On the day before the event I make sure he gets enough rest, eats well, sleeps early etc. He wakes up in the morning practices just couple of times more and he is all set. I never saw him fret or fear about the performance. You might say he is too young to understand fear of performing on stage but I have seen kids who come on stage and get scared and forget what they have to say.

He goes onto the stage, with poise and confidence; he is an expert in holding/adjusting the mike. He recites the poem loud and clear and comes back.  His dad and I feel so proud. Of course he never won a prize in any contest but we are okay with it. For the effort we put in, that is more than expected from him. This time we thought he was quite good and would win a prize but it is okay.

When I read the book in which Amy says she was never a good performer and that Sophia her daughter was not at all scared and performed with utmost expertise my eyes were filled with tears. I could relate to what she says with my son. I hope and wish he grows up with this fearless confidence.

To be continued...


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