Karyeshu dasi; Karaneshu mantri;
rupecha lakshmi; kshamaya dharitri;
bhojyeshu mata; sayaneshu rambha;
shat dharmayukta kuladharmapatni
This is a Sanskrit sloka from our Hindu mythology which describes the idealization of a woman – A woman makes an ideal wife who serves her husband like a servant, advises him like a minister, is beautiful like goddess lakshmi, has a forgiving nature like earth, serves him food like a mother, and is like Rambha (the apsarasa) in bed.
Some feminists may raise their voice against this but I totally agree and will even go to the extent of saying that this is a good logic to actually manage your husband. As far as the beauty and the other things go, they are highly relative and can be taken in different contests. I prefer taking the meaning in the way it works out for me
When I was 12 years old I came across an interesting poem in a Wisdom magazine. I wrote it down in my diary as I really liked the concept. I used to read it to my mom. Once my grandparents visited us and my grand mother had a fight with my grand father and was not talking to him. She started telling us how he irritates her all the time with his stubborn nature etc.
I gave her a lecture. I think that was the first time I did some remarkable marriage counseling. I told her how she should not fight and make up with him I read this poem to her and told her - it is as simple as following what is written in the poem. The poem was in English so I translated it in Telugu and told her that if she blindly follows what is said in the poem she will never fight with grand pa again
Of course she said that I was only 12 and did not know what it is to live with a stubborn person who gets his way all the time for 60 years. She asked me to save that poem for myself and try to implement it when I get married. Well, I did exactly the same, I did save my diary and I read this poem so many times that the lines were etched in my brain so well that I involuntarily follow everything that is listed. Here is the poem:
When you marry a man, love him
After you marry him, study him
If he is honest, honor him
If he is generous, appreciate him
When he is sad, cheer him
When he is quarrelsome, put up with him
If he is slothful, spur him
If he is noble praise him
If he is confidential, encourage him
If he is secretive, trust him
If he favors society, accompany him
When he does you a favor, thank him
Let him think how well you understand him
But never let him know that you manage him!
If you look at this, you might feel that you are actually doing what he wants and you might have to sacrifice everything and lose your identity in the process. But trust me it is not that bad. Try this and see; you will know that by investing a little you can make a fortune. Just start doing these small things and he will acknowledge all your actions in a great way. It will not be a one man show.
You may ask what if he is not noble, generous etc. Well then support him in what ever he does, how ever he is, accept him for what he is and mould him to what you think he should be. Once again guys this is not a strategy against you but it is a strategy to make any relationship work!
PS: The rules apply for both men and women. This post does not intend that only women have to do everything how ever her man is. I had this piece about woman and I thought it is a nice one and eloborated on it. Men should be equally responsible to make the relationship work.
rupecha lakshmi; kshamaya dharitri;
bhojyeshu mata; sayaneshu rambha;
shat dharmayukta kuladharmapatni
This is a Sanskrit sloka from our Hindu mythology which describes the idealization of a woman – A woman makes an ideal wife who serves her husband like a servant, advises him like a minister, is beautiful like goddess lakshmi, has a forgiving nature like earth, serves him food like a mother, and is like Rambha (the apsarasa) in bed.
Some feminists may raise their voice against this but I totally agree and will even go to the extent of saying that this is a good logic to actually manage your husband. As far as the beauty and the other things go, they are highly relative and can be taken in different contests. I prefer taking the meaning in the way it works out for me
When I was 12 years old I came across an interesting poem in a Wisdom magazine. I wrote it down in my diary as I really liked the concept. I used to read it to my mom. Once my grandparents visited us and my grand mother had a fight with my grand father and was not talking to him. She started telling us how he irritates her all the time with his stubborn nature etc.
I gave her a lecture. I think that was the first time I did some remarkable marriage counseling. I told her how she should not fight and make up with him I read this poem to her and told her - it is as simple as following what is written in the poem. The poem was in English so I translated it in Telugu and told her that if she blindly follows what is said in the poem she will never fight with grand pa again
Of course she said that I was only 12 and did not know what it is to live with a stubborn person who gets his way all the time for 60 years. She asked me to save that poem for myself and try to implement it when I get married. Well, I did exactly the same, I did save my diary and I read this poem so many times that the lines were etched in my brain so well that I involuntarily follow everything that is listed. Here is the poem:
When you marry a man, love him
After you marry him, study him
If he is honest, honor him
If he is generous, appreciate him
When he is sad, cheer him
When he is quarrelsome, put up with him
If he is slothful, spur him
If he is noble praise him
If he is confidential, encourage him
If he is secretive, trust him
If he favors society, accompany him
When he does you a favor, thank him
Let him think how well you understand him
But never let him know that you manage him!
If you look at this, you might feel that you are actually doing what he wants and you might have to sacrifice everything and lose your identity in the process. But trust me it is not that bad. Try this and see; you will know that by investing a little you can make a fortune. Just start doing these small things and he will acknowledge all your actions in a great way. It will not be a one man show.
You may ask what if he is not noble, generous etc. Well then support him in what ever he does, how ever he is, accept him for what he is and mould him to what you think he should be. Once again guys this is not a strategy against you but it is a strategy to make any relationship work!
PS: The rules apply for both men and women. This post does not intend that only women have to do everything how ever her man is. I had this piece about woman and I thought it is a nice one and eloborated on it. Men should be equally responsible to make the relationship work.
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