Kartika Puranam - Quest to understand what it is all about.

    Today is the first day of Kartika month. It starts the day after Diwali. When growing up, we had a tradition of waking up before sun rise during this month, taking shower, praying to lord Shiva, lighting a diya (lighting diyas was considered very auspicious during this month) and reading Kartika Puranam. It consists of 30 stories, 1 story per day through out the month. Depending on weather it is a Monday or a pournima, or a dwadasi, or ekadasi we have to fast.

    Indian festivals and auspicious months are designed with great thought. Kartika Month follows after Dassera and Diwali. These festivals running 10 days and 5 days long respectively are filled with eating lot of desserts, fried foods, with friends and family. Come Karthika month you fast to get rid of all those extra weight gain. Very smartly embedded into culture to keep a person fit :)

    My mom is very devotional and religious. She used to perform lot of vratas, poojas regularly. So I am used to doing it with her but I am very analytical and logical person and I always have lot of questions and comments on the stories that I used to read, the reasons the vratas needed to be performed etc... I stopped reading those stories after I got married as Rajesh is not too much into all these and obviously I found an excuse to give up on all the things I learnt while growing up :)

    I did pick them up once in a while in between but never stuck to them as time and again I did not see a point. This year, I want to read Karthika Puranam again and analyze the stories one day at a time and hot down my findings to see how my thought process changes with time. Recently I read about a study made in Scotland following a focus group for 65 years of their life time and it proves that our personalities completely change from when we were young to when we become 65-80 years old. I want to conduct that study on myself and see how I have changed. I do journal things often and I have notes to refer to :)

Who is God?

1. Who is God?

When I was growing up, I was taught Matrudevo bhava, Pitru devo Bhava, Acharya Devo Bhava, and Atidhi Devo Bhava. Mother, Father, Teacher, and Guest are to be treated as gods. I grew up with so many Hindu mythological stories where a book, a vehicle, a tree, a mountain, the five elements everything is some or the other God. Those stories made me respect everything in life and not take any of them for granted and be thankful to God to be all pervading and present in every inch of my being.

In my teenage years I studied Quantum Physics and Chemistry where I was taught that everything is made up of atoms and particles and matter. So, I believed that everyone around me, both animate and inanimate objects are made of the same thing just shaped differently and with different properties. Essentially proving the mythological stories with science. So, we are all the same and God should be the same as us. 

As I stepped into my 40’s with all the you tube videos that my younger son watched on Astronomy, understanding about our cosmic universe, big bang theory, galaxies, black holes, white holes, supernovas, parallel universes, multi verse etc. I am amazed at how did all this form to start with. What is the force that is holding all this together? How is universe functioning the way it is? I listened to lot of stories from awakened people on how they explain that as we are part of this immense universe, a snapshot of the universe is part of us as well. Like how a drop of ocean embodies all the characteristics of the entire Ocean, we have the entire universe within us.

Everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies. Once we match the frequency of another being, we strike a resonance and get attracted to them. That’s how we make friends with strangers, it almost feels like we have known them forever and we are happy and experience pure joy in their presence.

In my opinion, that matching of frequency with another being causing resonance, that frequency is God. That joy is God. God is present in all of us at varying frequencies hence the differences we see through out. We are to find that one person, that specific job, that aspect which makes us happy and that is God. And it could happen multiple times with multiple things and with different people. God is there everywhere and in all of us. We need to find the right thing or person that matches our frequency making them our God.

2. Where is God?

God is everywhere. With the right intention, God can be found in everything and everyone.

3. Why should we know God?

Because knowing God is finding Joy in anything and everything we do, it is a very blissful experience that should not be missed.

4. Why should we pray to God?

Praying God, according to me is focusing on getting what you want that brings you joy. If I want to write a book, me focusing on all aspects of accomplishing the task with all my faculties gives me success. If I meditate, or in other words, live, breathe, and act that thought of writing a book will get me closer to my dream. So, in this case my want of writing a book is trying to reach God because it gives me joy. Me thinking about it all the time is Prayer. Basically, Prayer is an intention that gets you closer to what you want in life which brings you joy.

5. Who Am I?

I am a marvel, a part of this amazing universe, a piece of the puzzle who was created with a specific purpose.

6. Why has God given us human birth?

There is a reason why each of us were born. Everyone has a role to play. God cannot do everything so we were all created so that certain tasks can be delegated. One has to understand their purpose in life to find joy and a sense of accomplishment that they are able to contribute to the bigger picture for which they were created.

7. How to know God?

By understanding one’s purpose of life. By finding what makes one happy. By being happy. Finding joy in the everyday things we do.

8. What is Life?

Life is energy flowing in all of us.

9. What should be human life’s ultimate goal?

Every human is made for a purpose. A human’s goal should be to realize their purpose and act towards achieving their truest potential. 

10. What is Parent’s & Teacher’s / Guru’s role in teaching about God, and one’s Life Goal?

Because it is difficult to understand the concept of energy, cosmos, etc. at a very young age parents and teachers should incorporate teachings into kids’ everyday lives which will prepare them with a strong character and mind to understand how to reach their truest potential which will bring them utmost joy. Everyone comes to this world with a set of core values, their strengths. It is the up to the parents and teachers to work with each kid in understanding the kids’ personality and help them grow to become someone wonderful based on their strengths and to help them embrace their weakness and turn it into something that supports their strengths. It is parents and teachers who are responsible to build the future of the kids. They should lead by example and show them the path to a joyous life.

11. Can a common man connect with God in this Life? How?

Of course, yes! Everyone can! If they enjoy what ever they do, give their best towards everything they do, be truthful, honest, sincere, care for others, help others they can be joyful and blissful in life and that experience is God.

12. It is God who is always offering everything to us, serving and helping us from time to time, but from our side what are we offering? How are we serving or helping God?

We offer and serve God by being grateful for the life given to us, by doing our best in everything, leading a truthful, honest, sincere life, helping others in need to our best capability, going beyond our personal gains and leading a joyful, peaceful, blissful life. When we do all these, we are not causing any commotion, or chaos in this world. We are not part of the problem. By being joyful and blissful we are changing others around us to be so and that is being part of a solution helping God in his/her efforts to strike balance and achieve calm in this universe.u

Who is God? Responses from a 15 year old

1. Who is God?

God is a supernatural power who set the world in motion and took his hands off.

2. Where is God?

I think God is dead. I just think it makes it more realistic. Because if you say God is there you end up praying more and not taking responsibility. If God is dead then it falls upon you to take action.

3. Why should we know God?

Stories of God are fun ways to learn morals. Having it come from God is a better way to instill morals in kids. It fills in the gaps where Science is missing reason. To understand what happened before big bang theory, why it exploded when it did. I think God set up everything inside a condensed area like a long twisty line of dominos. And then the big bang started when he pushed the first domino.

4. Why should we pray to God?

I don’t think you have to

5. Who Am I?

One of seven billion people. Someone trying to succeed in life like everyone else.

6. Why has God given us Human Birth?

So that population continues and species does not die after one generation.

7. How to know God?

Have faith in God where you think Science does not work.

8. What is Life?

An opportunity.

9. What should be Human life’s ultimate goal?

I don’t think human life should have a collective goal because it is up to the individual.

10. What is Parent’s & Teacher’s / Guru’s role in teaching about God, and one’s Life Goal?

Parent’s can use God stories to teach kids morals and nothing further than that, people should think of God of what they want it to be. Since parents have more life experiences, they can tell their kids about their path ways to success but you should not restrict them to just one.

11. Can a common man connect with God in this Life? How?

No because God is dead.

12. It is God who is always offering everything to us, serving and Helping us from time to time, but from our side what are we offering? How are we serving or helping God?

I think God does not do anything now because God is dead. We can’t serve God because God does not exist anymore.

Who is God - Responses from an 8 year old

1. Who is God?

God is anyone or everything that has a soul

2. Where is God?

God is everywhere

3. Why should we know God?

We should know God because god keeps us alive

4. Why should we pray to God?

We should pray to god so that god can fix our problems and give us blessings

5. Who Am I?

I am god because I have a soul.

6. Why has God given us Human Birth?

God has given us human birth because he got bored and created us as his toys

7. How to know God?

You know God by being yourself.

8. What is Life?

Life is the luckiness in being an animate object and finding love. Life is also the state of reality.

9. What should be Human life’s ultimate goal?

A human’s ultimate goal is to live forever in a rich life. Also, it should be about healing your sins and getting blessings.

10. What is Parent’s & Teacher’s / Guru’s role in teaching about God, and one’s Life Goal?

Parents and teachers can teach kids about God by teaching them all the stories, personalities, and festivals about God. Knowing this they can pray to God with ease.

11. Can a common man connect with God in this Life? How?

Yes. By being his true self and praying for years nonstop.

12. It is God who is always Offering everything to us, Serving and Helping us from time to time, but from our side what are we Offering? How are we Serving or Helping God?

We are not serving or offering anything to God because humans are polluting the toy world that he created. It is like humans are like live action figures that god created that live on earth, the table that God puts his toys on. Humans are destroying that world by destroying forests and the protective atmosphere that is shielding earth.

We can do the exact opposite of the above by creating instead of destroying the earth. That is how we can offer him something. That’s when the toys are happy by creating something for its owner.

Romancing in the digital era!

I wonder how it is these days between two people who are romantically involved or not even there yet, just have known each other for just a little over few days and kind of like each other and would like to proceed a little forward to explore if there are any prospects of getting romantically involved.

The beginning of a new relationship brings in such beautiful feelings. Exploring other persons reactions to little things like making a phone call but putting it down the moment you hear their voice on the other end not knowing what to say, passing by ignoring them a little, trying really hard to avoid them not wanting to give away the fact that you are dying to check out their every single move and analyze them to see if that is somehow related to you :) Aaah! those sweet nothings.

I think all those delicate gestures have become super ancient already. In this digital era everything is public. More or less! Facebook, twitter, non stop updates about every single breath you take and publicly talking about anything and everything in your life does not leave much for imagination.

You meet someone new, the first reaction is to Google their name, check their Facebook a/c, their wall, their friends list, their likes and dislikes, twitter updates, go a step forward and check their LinkedIn profile to see their work history, analyze why they studied what they did and why they worked at the places they worked, amazon and eBay shopping history, wish lists, Picasa/Flickr pictures so on and so forth.

And god forbid if they are into blogging (non technical stuff) that's it you have got a free pass into their soul. It gets very easy at this point to soul search and see if this person is right for you, your wavelengths match or not and ditch the person just after you hear their name and not even seen their picture or met them in person once.

Whatever happened to the uncertainties involved in meeting strangers getting to know the traditional way or should I say the ancient way and slowly nurture your feelings and let them evolve from liking to love. The bliss is all gone. Hmm....

I pity this age youth for not having all that we had. They are missing on all these beautiful things. But again they have an advantage too. They don't have to have to deal with the debate that your heart and head go into whether to listen to your heart and get carried away with your feelings or listen to your head which warns you with all the tell tale signs which might make this relationship not work. With all the information overload you have, and if you are smart enough you can connect the dots and decide right away if this person is right for you or not.

But for sure you are going to miss that new feeling,the beginning of a new relationship, the longing to see or talk to each other etc. I am glad I am not from this age and I am old fashioned even for my age :) I did benefit from all the subtle nuances of a new relationship and cherish them even Today.

Mid life crisis

A few years ago I came across a person who was going through mid life crisis. I followed his life closely and understood first hand what is is all about. I then thought, I would be careful when it comes to me or my husband as I am a more matured, psychologically evolved being :)

For some reason I always think I am a superior being as I understand life better than others. I guess everybody thinks the same way about themselves, but I live in my own bubble and I think very highly of myself and I am quite proud of that fact.

I read a little about what mid life crisis is all about. Here is what I found: "A midlife crisis is a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in early middle aged individuals."

The story of this guy who went through mid life crisis. He is a business man who is quite rich and successful. Well educated, very well settled, quite happy with this life. He is quite funny, retired quite early, and followed his passions. He started out to be a civil engineer, studied abroad, worked for 5years in US, went back home, got an idea in the field of construction, patented his idea and made money in the construction business. Retired before 40 and started acting in theater and writing pursuing his passions. Took acting lessons from LA living in India, being a christian played Indian mythological roles. Quite unique person indeed.

Later, I found out that his wife has Alzheimer's. He has a 13 year old son whom he takes care of completely, raises mostly by himself. He tries his best to find treatments for his wife. When asked, if he loves her so much, he said, "it was not love but sympathy towards her that made him stick to her. She has no where to go, what will she do if I leave her?" He says he has no future with her what so ever and has no hope that she will get any better but still he is married to her and is performing all his duties as a responsible husband. A one of a kind guy indeed!

He wrote about his mid life crisis. He bought a bike, joined a bike gang of four and drove around for sometime. He joined theater since he enjoys acting. He labelled all his actions as mid life crisis.

I, for some reason, never bought into the mid-life crisis concept. Now that I am going through my life (not quite there yet) but looking at my friends' lives who are in their 40-50s this is my understanding. Not all people go through mid life crisis. People who are successful, had a great career path, climbing up the success ladder, they will not complain about mid life crisis I think since they were so busy working towards their success and enjoying a rewarding career and family. Everything falls into place for them (of course because they are smart and work hard having a great perspective towards life)

On the other hand life sure gets super hectic during mid-life. You have your kids growing up, their teenage dramas to deal with, your parents aging, taking care of their health concerns, feeling even more stressed out mostly because of guilt, if you are away from them and cannot take care of them. And God forbid if you lose one of your parents it will multiply the stress 10 fold if not more. So what I see is most of it is stress built up because of multiple crises. Mid-life is the most stressful life I guess, again it depends on each person, because you are trying to juggle so many things, and even though you want to, you are not able to do a good job.

We all start our lives (I mean once we get a job and become independent) with an idea that we are going to lead our life a certain way. We will not make the same mistakes our parents, our older siblings, extended family, or friends did. We plan our future in a certain way. The mistake we do in planning is we consider each episode/responsibility/event separately.

We assume lot of things in a positive way like: my job, this is what I am going to do. This is my plan on my higher studies to support my career, training required etc etc. To be a successful parent, I am going to do all this, we will have a mental checklist which we keep updating looking at all the successful people around. This is how I am going to handle my teenage kids (even before you have any kids, judging the parents around you with teenage kids :). This is how I am going to take care of parents (in an ideal world). Once I save enough money, I am going to buy a bike, race car etc which was always my dream since I was 10.

Wishful thinking! The problem is life happens in parallel not in sequence. By the time you get a job and you are barely settled, you get married. Most of the Indians do at least . So now we are already looking at a wrinkle in the financial planning. Your higher studies get collided with having a baby and added responsibility. You are a brand new parent with no clue, even though you were very quick at passing judgements on every single parent we met. Do a Masters in the subject of your interest while raising a new born. Now that is fun! You don't get promoted because you did not work 17+ hours like your colleague who does not have kids or has lot of domestic help which gives him time to focus on his work. You are obviously depressed. You will think, let the kid be 3yrs old and potty trained then I will focus entirely on work. Then comes the second one. Sibling rivalry to deal with, so on and so forth. You get the idea.

Now all this is to a guy not a girl. I don't think many women have mid life crisis because they are smart :) They understand life and are practical in having unrealistic expectations from life. Because when the poor guy is going through all this and sometimes has the luxury to leave everything at least while he is away at work not thinking about what's going on in the house, a girl cannot afford that luxury. And when it is a working mom, those are the best. They need to be on steroids all day, all their life, until kids grow up to manage the day to day things that come up.  Even statistics prove mid life crisis last about 3-10 years in men and 2-5 years in women and that approximately 10& of individuals go through this phase. 

So what is the most commonly misnamed mid life crisis all about? According to me, it is not mid life crisis it is lack of planning, not taking all variables into account, assuming life happens sequentially, not in parallel. I think learning how to juggle might give some perspective on life, I am not kidding. If you don't want so much stress in your life, line up your priorities, don't try to excel at every single thing you do, give up certain things, no need to enroll your kids into a zillion classes etc etc.

Instead if you think you want to do everything, here is an idea. There is something called a wildly important goal (WIG) some corporations implement. Every week you mark one thing in your never ending list as wildly important. Mark it as a WIG that means you have to accomplish it no matter what. It is okay to slack on others but you will have to accomplish this one task. Focusing on one wildly important goal is like punching one finger through a sheet of paper - all your strength goes into making that hole. That way you distribute your work/responsibility load and can accomplish lot more than you think you can.

Now this is all for a normal person who has a great life without any hiccups, career advancement, kids growing up, parents getting old, childhood dreams of having a race car, motor bike, sky diving, not getting fulfilled, this is all normal. If you have a deep sense of regret that you did not accomplish anything in life, stop whining about it, and start somewhere. It is never too late.

Coming back to the guy we were talking about, his life is different. These people are outliers. They don't fall under the same category as normal people. When normal people get sucked up into day to day lives and complain they should pause and take a look at these people. They lead a different life. We need to learn from them, that if they are able to handle their lives in a sane manner then we have no right to complain.

Paino Lessons

I want to learn piano someday. I know how to play basic notes and some rhymes :) yes! rhymes. My son started taking keyboard lessons when he was 5. He went to a group lesson where you get a 5-10min instruction for a song. You need to practice at home and come back, the teacher reviews the song and teaches another song just once as she has to move on to the next kid.

I used to learn how to play that song at home when my son was at school and once he came back I used to teach him the song. He got pretty good at piano and the teacher suggested we start private lessons for him on real piano. We bought a decent upright piano after doing tons of research.

I learned Alfred's both books 1A and 1B. I can play all the songs from those books. But then once he moved to level 2 I did not get time to practice. But I did sit through all his classes and understood the theory so that I can make him practice at home. Even now, I can recognize notes better than him (not sure if that is in my favor or that he still has tough time in identifying some notes :)

Anyways, I always wanted to learn piano. It has been my fantasy since I was a kid. I always admired music from Hindi and Telugu movies. Mostly I love Bollywood songs. Watching movie actors play piano, I always dreamed of me playing the piano and singing a melodious song. Now that we have one at home, I want to take serious piano lessons and play some of my favorites.

Recently I watched one totally bakwaas movie "Thank You". Yes, I do watch such junk :) But I am glad I watched the movie.There is one beautiful tune Akshay Kumar plays on the flute. It is really melodious. At the end of the movie they show Vidya Balan singing the song "Han Har Ghadi, Har Pehar.." song. This is a very lovely melodious song.

I heard this song Today more than a thousand times. Now my wish to learn piano grew even stronger. One day I am going to learn and play this song to my husband!