Thursday, October 25, 2007

My first love letter!

I know most of my friends will be curious to read this one to know if it was actually to Rajesh (my husband). Well, sorry to disappoint you guys but it is not. If it was it would not have been a suspense thriller! This was in the year 1998. I was pursuing my masters at College of Engineering, Osmania University. The university organizes a cultural festival every year called “All-go-rhythms”.

This was the first time for me. I was all excited and went around with my friends participating in various competitions like collaging, crossword competition, whose line is it anyway, things like that. I was with two of my friends who stopped at a class room which had “Billet-Doux” on a board in front of it. They said lets go and participate. The competition already started so we had to enter the room and take our seats. I was not sure what it was about (I did not take French in school. “Billet-Doux” in French means love letter) but looking at others I figured out that it was some kind of writing competition.

I was interested in writing anyways, so took a seat with a sheet of white paper in front of me. One of the organizers read the instructions, two of them to be precise. “Write a love letter”, “You have 1 hour time”. That’s it. I was shocked. My friends chuckled and started writing immediately. I did not know what to do. Reason, I never believed in love. I never encouraged love affairs in my life. By then I already counseled a few people on why they should never get involved with a guy or a girl. I saw very few romantic movies but as a critic. I always made fun of the lovers and the whole concept of romance in the movies.

Clock was ticking and I tried to look at the participants in the room. I was the only one who was not writing anything. After 30 minutes, my paper was still blank as I was absolutely clueless. My friends were all smiles, giggling, blushing as they were writing and asking for additional sheets. I was embarrassed. I always have an answer for every question and I felt ashamed for not being able to put a single line on the paper. So I wrote.

I remember that I have written some thing very philosophical. Well, I could have imagined that if I have a boy friend what would I say to him but I was too dumb in that one area. Usually people do not forget the first things in life. And this was my first love letter to an organizer of the competition may be but what ever it is, the first love letter I ever wrote. I do not remember the contents. I wish I met the guy who read it and asked his opinion!

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Why do people write blogs?

People write for different reasons. For some it may be like talking to a person, a friend, venting out all their thoughts and feelings. Some may have interesting ideas and would like to share it with others. Some may do it to start a conversation. Trying to get some comments on their work and discuss about it. Blogging has become a trend these days.

For me, it is different. I am not working right now and I was thinking of changing my profession. I always wanted to write but never tried it out. I was thinking of writing some articles and sending them to some editors. But one fine day, I got in touch with an old friend of mine and she suggested blogging when we were discussing on how to dive into the writing profession. That’s how I started my blog.

For me, it was not to convey my feelings. I was purely looking at my writing skills. The topics I chose were the ones I discussed with my friends over emails which got good responses. So I published them. I am not here to entertain or enlighten anyone with my writings. It is my medium to reach out to people and get some help to go forward as far as writing goes.

For some, they don’t care whether people read them or not. I do. The thought that my blogs are open to public forces me to write well. I think clearly when I write a blog. I get lot of insight when I sit to write. A bonus point is that jotting down my thoughts and feelings makes me understand them better.

I am aware that not all people think like me. But I am sure there are some who think like me and I am going to have an impact on them in some way or the other with my writings.

I am trying out different aspects of writing. I wanted to know if I have what it takes to write about some one else’s situation placing my self in their shoes. I wanted to write a very touching article. I tried “Can I handle the seasons of my life?” and I got a great response to it. Not as comments to the post but via personal emails. But that is fine. I succeeded in my attempt.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Can I handle the seasons of my life?

I was watching a movie and the title of this blog is from the lyrics of a song from that movie. Tears dropped from my eyes as I heard the song. Especially this line was very touching. Well, normally I would have appreciated the lyrics but since I am going through some ups and downs it felt miserable.

This was a few months ago. The moment I finished the movie I opened a word doc and gave it the title. Had I written this blog at that point of time it would have been a real tear jerker! Some thing came up and I did not get a chance to write it. I started thinking, will I be able to write it to the same extent after the moment has passed. I don’t think so.

Why is it that when we are happy we do not recall how bad our past was? And when we are sad all the past memories become fresh. It seems like I have been sad for long enough to remember the last best thing that happened in my life. And now I don’t even know if I am sad or happy. I guess the worst part of the day is when I am all by myself.

I tried doing some new things to keep myself busy but at least for a few minutes I try to think what I am doing with my life and it all comes back. Actually my life is not that bad. I had worst moments before and to my surprise I handled them well. But when ever some thing new comes up, it feel so hard, everything comes to a stand still, and questions my ability to handle the situation.

Can I handle the seasons of my life? I am good at handling the good ones like accomplishments (obviously). I am slowly mastering the bad ones but every other hit seems like a bigger one. I know there is much more to face in life and this is just the beginning. Some thing which has not happened yet should not hurt you but the thought that my today’s decisions are going to shape up my future is scary.